Your Boaz??

Who Are You Really Waiting On....

I'm sure I'm not the only one who have seen all the post or blogs with women talking about "Waiting on my Boaz". Now of course if you read the story most women who are ready to be married & settled down would love a Boaz but here is my point:

How can you want someone else man? You see Boaz belonged to Ruth & with you saying you're waiting on "your" Boaz it's saying you're waiting on someone else husband, and then you wonder why "Boaz" hasn't came into your life. When praying & believing God for your mate you have to be specific about what you want but you can't ask God for someone else man, it's just not going to work out well for you because remember the same way God hears your prayers so does Satan. He will send you what you think is "Your Boaz" but in truth it will be anything but, instead you will get stuck with some fake imitations like....

1. Po-az

2. Lyin-az

3. Broke-az

4. Cheatin-az

5. Dumb-az

6. Drunk-az 

7. Cheap-az

8. Lockedup-az

9. Lazy-az

and the worst of them all

10. Beatinyo-az

Now being honest how many woman really want that type of man in their life full-time....don't worry I'll tell you NOT ONE!!

See ladies you have to be patient & wait you can't just go to a store & build the perfect man, the man that is perfect for you has to be shaped & molded by God Himself because He knows exactly what you need in a mate & He loves you enough not to just send you any Ole-az. Ladies while you are waiting try praying for your mate & stop praying for someone else mate, Boaz belonged to Ruth so he's not for you. Why don't you instead pray for someone like Boaz, pray for your mate to possess the great qualities that Boaz possessed & not for Boaz. I'm also sure most of you don't even know who Boaz was so I'm going to break it down for you....

Boaz was the type of man who hears about your good works and completely favors you because he sees that you are a woman of virtue & worth. Boaz was not the type of man who was turned on by the physical appearance of Ruth's body or by her calling herself a "bad bitch". You see Ruth represented herself well and her actions were a reflection of her virtuous nature.

A man that truly appreciates your all around worth is a man worthy of your service & submission.

Don't just settle for a imitation Boaz, ask God for your own mate not Ruth's mate.

CHELLE B.

Are You Willing To Speak Up....

Don't Be Silent With Domestic Violence

For the life of me I'll never understand why a man would want to physically harm someone that they claim to love, what gives them the right to feel that they're justified in abusing someone else. To me a man that abuses a woman is coward, a punk & would flee if a man came at them the way they go after the lady....

I'm going to start off with the obvious:

LOVE DOESN'T HURT

I'm pretty sure everyone is tired of hearing this but the sad part of it is no matter how tired you are of hearing it it will always be true.

Love don't hurt, love don't look sad, love is not a destructive force

it's an empowering force. Love smiles, love is happy, love protects, provide, support & uplifts a person; love NEVER knocks you down & make you feel less than what you are. Love is respectful & caring, love is never jealous & controlling. 

Do you know that 1 in every 4 women will experience some type of domestic violence in their lifetime & that every 9 seconds a woman is abused by someone who claims to love them & more than half will never report the abuse for fear of not being believed & retaliation if the courts don't do their part. I've heard many people say "Why won't they just leave, they must like it" well me know that is always easier than done & none of us can actually what we will & won't do until we're in that situation. 

Abusers have to learn & know that NO MATTER WHAT it's never OK to put your hands on your mate & proving you're a man is not putting your hands on a woman, it's being able to walk away from the situation before you do. Walking away doesn't make you weak, walking away makes you a strong grown man. 

How can you claim to love your mate don't but mind seeing them look like this:

We must also remember that domestic violence isn't just physical it's also verbal & most of the time verbal abuse can do more damage than the physical abuse because where as bruises heal those words will stick with you forever. 

Whoever said "Words don't hurt" were sadly mistaken, words have caused people to take their own lives.  

Think about this the next time you raise your hand to hit a woman: Would you tolerate a man putting his hands on your mother or your daughter? Do you know what they do to women abusers in prison, keep up the foolishness & you'll find out. 

CHELLE B.

**Hypocrisy In The Christian Community**

Now since this election started there has been much mud slinging & ditch digging from one party to the next & I can't honestly say who's done the most {I can I just won't}. We have to face facts that somewhere down the line we failed ourselves because it was the lack of knowledge or not caring enough to vote that actually put the people in place that allowed them to even be considered. 

Now with that being said I've seen many Christian's endorse a man that has done & said some of the foulest things ever spoken by a presidential candidate, they've made excuses for all the wrong he's done. I truly understand the art of forgiveness but I also understand the art of holding a person accountable for their bad actions & instead of reprimand they gave excuses & praise. And people wonder why so many have issues with "the church" & religion, well this is one of the reasons. You have some that have been judge, jury & executioner for Hillary stating things in her past but have been quick to forgive Trump for the things in his past & some even present. The last time I checked it's not up to us to judge anyone but it seems many have forgotten about that. How can you hold one person accountable for their wrong doings but not the other, where is God in that? Now I'm sure most of you Christian's are voting for him because you all are republicans & therefore share the same values as you but that is not true, as a matter of fact if you all are honest with yourselves y'all truly don't know where he stands on any real issues. You say Hillary is a killer because she supports "abortions", really does that make her a killer or a person who feels the government shouldn't have a say so over a lady's body, where as Trump wants Roe v Wade overturned. Many of you have been quick to say that she stood behind her cheating husband when clearly the marriage vows say for better or worse. Yet y'all uphold a man that has been married 3 times & cheated on all his wives {facts}. You all condemn her & call her a racist yet so is Donald & he's let that be known many many times, plus this man has shown little to no respect for females of all racist. You all have called her a liar but once again Donald has had to moonwalk himself out of several dumb idiotic lies he's told. 

Bottom line is this: STOP using God to justify why you're voting for this loud, foul mouth, woman hating, non-christian, lying hypocrite. STOP using the word "moral" where it involves him because he has shown none!! 

Say Ouch or Amen!!!!

It seems to me that hypocrites gravitate towards each other .....

Conversations With Chelle 

Chelle B.

Innocent Lives Lost By A Coward

I have to say I still sit here in unbelief by the senseless act of a coward who took 49 innocent lives.

I want to say my heart, tears, concerns & prayers go out to all the families & friends that lost a dear sweet love one to such hateful act. My prayers are with Orlando during such a tragic time.

 

 

I have sat & read so many ignorant & hateful comments from people that I saw fit to do this post. Yes I identify myself as Christian and to me that means love & not passing judgment on anyone for anything, as the saying goes "who am I to judge" my life isn't stellar. Now with that being said I want to know how can people fix their mouths to say this happened because it was a "gay" club. Now if you truly feel that way then tell me why did the shooting in South Carolina happen, because we all know it happened at a CHURCH? See I wish people would actually sit & think before they start opening their mouths & spewing such hatred. I'm not to sure about many others but from my understanding the God I have a relationship with is a God of  love & not hate, so for me to see so many so called Christians say such negative & hateful things about such a tragic situation it really bothers me. We are here to pray for one another, send good vibes to one another not criticize & put down one another simply because their beliefs are different than yours, you can only give in account of your life and no one else. I also want to know why does it seem that homosexuality is the only sin in the world, when clearly it's not. But from my understanding "Love the person, hate the sin", isn't that what the bible says, meaning you show love & caring no matter what!!

Now once again to those who are saying the "terrorist" choose this club simply because it was a gay club did you wait on the reports to read that he originally had plans to attack Disney World {I guess because DW is the gayest[happiest] place on Earth} but at the last minute went into Pulse, a "gay" night club that he was known to frequent? See people are so quick to open their big mouths so they can get their little 5 seconds of fame on a camera or social media without even having all or even half the facts. I'm sure as the week goes on more & more information will come out about who this guy was but in the end we will never truly know the real reason as to why he did what he did.

So how about we take our focus off of the killer & place it where it belongs with the families & love ones of everyone involved and on gun control of our nation.

People love who they love it's no one's place to judge them or criticize for that.

 

I don't have a full list but here a few names that I was able to get, I'm working on compiling a full list.

My Prayers Are With These Families & Love Ones......

 

 

CONVERSATIONS WITH CHELLE

CHELLE B.





Freedom....Freedom....Freedom....Freedom

How Do You Define Freedom??

 

 

It's amazing how one word can have a different meaning to many people. To some the word Freedom means "Being you without anyone's permission".

But to me Freedom isn't doing what we want to do, it's doing things that keeps us out of bondage, because no one can ever be truly free if they're living in bondage.

Can you truly say you have "FREEDOM" or is there something or someone that has you bound?

Your freedom lies within your hands & no one else!!

 

‪#‎AreYouFree‬ ‪#‎OrAreYouBound‬ ‪#‎Freedom‬ ‪#‎NoBondage‬

 

 

CHELLE B. 



PETTY....PETTY....PETTY....PETTY

Ok how many times have you heard the phrase or phrases

"Stop being so petty"

"Oooh you're just so petty"

"Petty is as petty does"

 

Well if you're anything like me you've heard an overuse of the word but also guilty of using it yourself a time or two. Since I know we as people have our own version of what every word in the "urban" dictionary means I decided to just research it for myself and here is what I found....

 

1. When someone takes a small subject & blows it out of proportion

Basically making a mountain out of a mole hill.

 

2. Being deliberately nasty or rude for no reason

Basically being childish.

 

Now with all that being said & reading the meaning of the word I want to say this, it's bad enough that so called grown women are going around being all petty, especially on social media but when you run across a grown man that's doing it, it's a major turnoff. There is nothing appealing to a grown woman about a petty man, the same way I'm sure no grown man likes a petty woman & if they do then they both have some growing up to do. If you find yourself acting out of character all because of what someone else has done or is doing then you're really making a fool out of yourself & not even realizing you're actually pushing that person away & not drawing them to you, being petty is the worse thing a person can do in a relationship. So while you're sitting back thinking "Bam I got them", what you've really gotten yourself is a single status.

 

If you're confused as to what I'm talking about let me explain it real quick.....

1. Don't call me, I won't call you {petty}

2. Won't answer my questions in a timely fashion, I'll ignore you {petty}

3. Won't like my stuff, I won't like yours {petty}

4. Your phone is locked I'll lock mine {petty}

5. Won't help me, I won't help you {petty}

 

Now back to what I was saying, I hate a petty female but since most females are naturally jealous of other females for no reason it's kind of to be expected, but I truly despise a petty man/boy. You see I feel men are suppose to be strong, show strength & stand their grounds but when they resort going tit for tat then that becomes a major turnoff & will push a person away from them quicker than cheating will. Changing your actions to become petty all because you think it will draw the person to you is a sure fire way to get yourself 1st place in the singles line.

 

But to those who choose to act petty here's a little something from me to you....

 

 

Chelle B.



 

 



Helping Another..........Burning Bridges



 

Do It Out Of Love Or Not At All....Don't Cut Off A Helping Hand  

 

 

I’m sure if you’re reading this at some point in your life you’ve lent a helping hand to someone who needed it, I’m also sure that someone has extended that same courtesy to you so therefore you should truly understand what I’m about to say.
If you’re going to do something or offer help to someone you should just do it without making demands or expecting anything in return, that even includes a simple “Thank You”, you shouldn’t expect someone to jump through hoops just to receive your help if your offer to help is coming from a good place. If you’re going to offer help then it should be between the two of you unless they choose to tell someone of the “blessing” they received from you. When helping someone it should be done from the heart & not from expectancy, you should never throw back up in someone's face what you’ve done for them because in doing so it shows that you may have had an ulterior motive to begin with, which is why you offered it in the first place. Ask yourself how would you feel if the roles were reversed and they did it to you.


Now if someone has ever helped you, if they have ever stepped up when everyone else stepped back & out of the blue you get angry with them because things didn’t go your way or you just decide to cut them off and or end the friendship for whatever reason you should at least extend them the common courtesy as to why. You should not leave them in the dark & have them guessing, I mean surely given all they may have done for you over they years they deserve at least that much from you.

Bottom Line Is This: Just because you feel you’re in a better place at the moment you never know what each day holds so you may want to be careful of the bridges you burn, once burnt there is no rebuilding. You have to be mindful of the people you help, because no matter how much you may want too it’s not meant for you to help everyone.

Because With Me It's Not Going To Happen!!

As The Saying Goes

The Bridge You Burn Today Could Very

Well Be The One You Need To Cross

Tomorrow....

 

CHELLE B.



The Great Snap Debate

My oh my where do I even begin with this one right here, guess the only thing to do is just jump right to it.

I've been seeing certain stupid post {yes I called them stupid you will soon see why} then after seeing a YouTube video a few days ago where a lady was literally in line at a store berating & cursing a young father out not only in front of his kid but also hers & the words that were coming out her mouth was just pure ignorant & I feel sorry for her son because of the things she's teaching him.

Now in case you haven't figured out what I'm talking about I'll tell you, there seems to be this BIG misconception about the use of food stamps, I see all these ignorant pictures like this right here....

 

Now correct me if I'm wrong but if a person has kids, no job & they're receiving food stamps then those stamps only last for so long. What do you think the parents do when the food runs out before the next month comes, now tell the people what do your hardworking self do when your food runs out? See you have more income coming in & go out and purchase food items if need be but a family receiving food stamps don't have that luxury, they have to "get by" the best way they can. I'm not really sure how much people seem to think a person gets monthly in food stamps but I'm sure it's way less than they make working where they may get paid 4 times or month or twice a month. Also people would be surprised at the people who work but still get food stamps to try & help subsidize their minimal income so their kids can at least have a decent meal during the week.
I don't seem to understand why the food stamp shaming is taking place, I've spoken with several people on both sides of the spectrum & I can assure you that those who get stamps would gladly trade places with those of you who unlucky people who have to pay for your food with cash. They would trade places with you because they feel they would have a sustainable income where they can better provide for their kids & they wouldn't have to rely on so many processed foods just to make their food budget stretch month to month. How many of you would be willing to try & make it an entire month off of the amount of stamps that they get & yes you have to take in account the amount of  mouths they have to feed oppose to the amount you have to feed? I've seen several "celebrities" take the "food stamp" challenge & many of them have been honest & said they don't see how it's done.

See I've been on both sides of the spectrum & I can honestly say that I prefer working & buying groceries every pay period oppose to once a month, I can honestly tell you that I bought more groceries with cash every month than I did with food stamps. So if you're feeling some type of way about the buggy on the left & think it's so unfair because you're a hard working tax payer let me leave you with this small bit of information to chew on while you're being pissed off about someone actually using their Snap benefits for feeding their kids......



Now about the woman {and others who think like her} that was berating the man in the store for using food stamps & claiming that she pays so much out her taxes for people like him, since she's so smart she might want to fact check herself & realize that $1 of every $5 spent to purchase items on food stamps is spent at WalMart. And because of Walmart’s low wages, even full-time employees often still qualify for benefits. She would also know that the amount of taxes coming out of her paycheck {if what she's saying is true about her paying taxes}for the snap program amount to only around $0.10 cents a day, which when added up is only $36.50 a year.
So next time before you repost one of the ignorant "memes" about anything you may want to fact check yourself so you won't end up looking like a donkey's backside in the long run.

You never know what someone's story is, so why bully & shame them for trying

to feed their kids the best way they can, which happens to be Snap benefits.

 



CHELLE B.  

Biggest Lie Ever Told....Wants vs Needs

 

I sit & just listen to people talk & I have to say that the biggest lie I've ever heard someone say is......

I NEED SEX.

Now forgive me if I'm wrong but the last time I checked no one has ever died from not having sex, but I do know they have died from having sex, STD's are real. I'm sure some people are reading this with their mouth wide open & saying I've lost my mind but I can assure you that I haven't. I just hate to hear someone actually say they NEED sex. I guess to begin with they need to learn the difference between a want & a need.

See a need is something that you can't live without & must have  in order to live or succeed in life, where as a want is just simply something you desire to possess or do, but won't perish from if you don't get it.

 In life I'm come to realize that we need air, food & water to survive, we don't need sex. So I guess I will never understand people when they get upset because their boyfriend or girlfriend won't have sex with them all because they feel they NEED it. I think at some point or another they NEED to sit down & really take a look into their "needs" vs their "wants" & really learn the difference between the two.

 

 

 

CHELLE B.

Work Too Much?????

I have been hearing this a lot therefore I decided to tackle this topic because to be honest it really makes no sense to me at all….
I don’t seem to understand it when women say “I cheated because he’s always at work, he works to much.”
Now don’t get me wrong I know there should be a balance between work and family but at the same time with the rising cost of everything, is there really a such thing as “working to much”? How can you say they don’t have time to take care of home when if they weren’t working then there couldn’t be a home to take care of. How can you say they work too much and that’s why you cheated when we know if they didn’t work at all or have anything to bring in you would use that as an excuse for cheating also. We know if he couldn’t help at home he would be all types of no good, good for nothing so & so and any other derogatory names you and your “friends” can come up with, you would start playing No Scrubs by TLC while you and your “friends” danced around the living room or the home his hard earned money is paying for. You would dance around playing music on a computer or radio that is using electricity that he is working hard to pay for. You would tell him once again “If you were taking care of home I wouldn’t of cheated”, which takes us right back to where we started how can he take care of home when there is no home to take care of.

Bottom Line: You can’t have it both ways either you want a man that will be a man and do what real men, which is work and take care of their families the best they can, or you want a boy to play house with because your son is not old enough to play and do the things you need or want done. Now that only leaves you with two choices, let the man work & you be faithful & stop complaining or you get your butt out there, get a job, let him sit home and you pay all the bills then tell me how tired you are at the end of the day and you get home and he wants this and that and everything else he feels he deserves by being your mate.
You don’t have to go out and cheat and use the excuse “He works to much” if you really feel that way then sit down talk to him about how you’re feeling and if you can’t come to a happy medium then maybe you need to find a man, my bad a boy that don’t want to work!

 

 

 

CHELLE B.

Cutting People Out

Life is to short to spend with people who suck the happiness out of you. When you have to start compromising yourself and what you belief in order for others to be happy then it's time for you to make some major cuts in your life and those you have in it.  Cutting people out your life is not always because you hate them it's because you have to respect yourself a little bit more and not continue to settle for whatever is thrown your way. Don't feel because you've been "down" with someone from day one it's meant for you to continue the friendship or relationship some of those "ships" are the very reason you're still stranded, you fail to take notice of all the holes in it. Some people consider themselves so loyal that they don't see their so called "loyalty" is really hindering, hurting and holding them back from meaningful progress. You have to understand that those so called friends are only your friend because they see you as being in the same situation they're in or they consider you to be worse off than they are therefore it makes them feel good about themselves. You have to be able to recognize the negativity in your life and be willing to get rid of it if you ever plan on getting farther than where you are at in life, you have to understand that not everyone wants good for you. You have to recognize your own worth and stop valuing yourself based off what other have to say about you. You have to be strong enough to let people go and yet in still be patient enough to wait on the right people to enter into your life. Stop allowing old soul ties to keep you in bondage and leaving you stuck, make up your mind that you deserve happiness, tell yourself you deserve better and then seek better. Cutting people off may not seem good in the beginning but it's the end where it all matters. If we all take this mindset we will see our lives would be more stress free. Get off that sinking ship and get back to dry land!!

More people, More problems, lessen your problems by lessening the people around you.



CHELLE B.

Titles & Relationships

I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW IMPORTANT IS A TITLE TO YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP. Do you feel the need to identify your mate as your girlfriend and or boyfriend?

 
 
 

 I have encountered the problem myself a time or two but it seems as though I was on the other end, I didn't and still don't see a reason for having to let everyone know your relationships status. At one point I can say I wanted to put it out there but he was against for whatever reason so I agreed to it, even though I changed my status on FB for a long time it didn't say with who it just said I was in a relationship. Then when he felt he was comfortable with everything or better yet when he saw guys popping up on my page left and right he wanted to change it so it said we were in a relationship with each other. To be honest I didn't have a problem with it and it only bothered me because he was doing it for all the wrong reasons. He was doing it because he felt it would keep guys from commenting on my pictures and or in-boxing me in Facebook, needless to say he was very wrong and after the change I got more messages in my message box and like more than ever.
See to me having a "title" in a relationship is all about status and claiming, but not just any status it makes you feel as though you have an "official" status one that is meant to bring equalization to your relationship that maybe you feel the last one didn't have. As if you're trying to surpass the previous status of you all's last relationship who you feel may have held a bigger and more prominent title than you are currently holding. You feel it's a status that needs to be acknowledge by your mate, friends and or outsiders to make your relationship look official. 
See often times I tend to ask "Why Do People Need Titles" and I have came up with many reasons. Some people need validation, some people are insecure and feel better if others know their mate is with them. Some people think it tells them where they fit it and or stand with the other person, as if it may tell others what to think or expect from their relationship. They feel it will give the a sense of ownership and that in obtaining that title they have the right to have certain expectations and will know what their responsibilities in the relationship are.
People need to understand that if you're in a good and healthy relationships that you both understand then you all don't need to be fussing over spoken or unspoken status. I feel that you shouldn't need to validate your relationship just for others to feel good or know your business. Now I'm going to be honest I feel the only relationship that should hold a title and be acknowledge is "MARRIAGE". I mean if you're "boyfriend" "girlfriend" then fine no problems with that just know that putting your status out there and it not saying "married" then people still see the others are fair game, but it's up to your mate to check that person and tell you about it.
Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong if you want to put out there that you're in a relationship, just know when doing so it attracts more people to you then not saying you're in a relationship. See you need to understand that "NO BODY WANTS SOMEBODY THAT NO ONE ELSE WANTS", and with making your relationship public it will draw more people to you and or your mate. Trust me I've seen it happen to many times. People want what they think others have, plain and simple.

I can honestly say that I believe this!!

SO I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU ALL: DO YOU FEEL THAT TITLES HELP OR HURT RELATIONSHIPS?



                                 




CHELLE B.

How Much Can You Endure....

 

 

As we all know there is no such thing as a perfect relationship and if anyone say there is they are lying. A relationship can be all that you make it out to be but the main question is "How Much Can You Endure" meaning how much are you willing to take and how long are you willing to stand by your mate through adversities. The same way relationships are different so are the people that are in them. You see one person may can handle way more than the other but at the same time hold it in better than the other person. Regardless of what is going on everyone has their breaking point at some point or another and they just feel like throwing in the towel, giving up and just walking away from it all. Some people tend to stay because they feel the time they have put it is far more important than walking away and actually being happy, where as others stay because they simple don't want to have to start over so comfort is far better than reality. Then you have those who stay out of guilt because they don't want to hurt the other person with fear of the backlash that it may cause.

Either way it all boils down to "how much can you endure"? One thing I do know is that you should never stay with someone out of guilt because in the end it will do more harm than good, see if the other person found out they may hurt you or themselves and or you could end up living a very lonely and unfulfilled life. Staying with someone out of guilt or pity is never the route to take no matter what the situation is or was. Now if you truly love and you're truly in love with someone then you can and will endure all just to be with that person because only you know if the sacrifices are worth it. But if you truly know in your heart of hearts that you're no longer happy and you can no longer hold on and your ready to let go, and move on then you should really share that with the other person, no need in letting them think other wise and no need in keeping them tied to you when you are no longer tied to them.

Just like anything in life if you can endure the bad and rocky times in your relationship then you will surely enjoy the gain at the end, if you can just hold out. But once again if you truly know in your heart of hearts you're no longer happy and you don't want to be there anymore then getting out will only be the fair thing to do.

Endure the pain, Enjoy the gain.

Yes I know it sounds easy to some and hard to others but if everything worth having came to us so easily then they really wouldn't be worth having now would they..

So no matter what the situation may be just ask yourself "How Much Can I Endure?"

They say LOVE endures all, how true is that?

 

 

CHELLE B.

Do Actions Speak Louder Than Words....

We all have heard the saying "Actions speak louder than words" well after careful consideration and after dealing with certain things and being put in certain situations I have come to challenge this age old saying, because if a person is listening to you their actions will mimic exactly what you want at that time, so does that really mean their heart is in it.

I feel that words have more power than you care to believe they have, see to me someone can do whatever it is they have heard you say you want or need done and it not really mean much for the simple fact that they are just going through the motions of what they know you expect and therefore they are going to do what you want or need them to do in order to get what they want and or need from you. To me if I sit and talk to a person I can gauge their feelings and true intentions through their words and words have a better chance at piercing my heart than their actions. Don't get me wrong I like to receive certain tokens of love and affection, things like "just because" flowers and cards. But to me most of the time actions are just a person going through the motions to fulfill the desire, want or need you have at the present moment or near future for their benefit of getting or obtaining something from you in the process. Understand this I can go out and buy whatever it is I think will make you happy, simply because I have sat and listened to the "words" you have spoken and since I now know that will please you I feel that if I go purchase that item I stand a better chance of getting whatever it is I want from you. See I don't just want a person doing this and doing that because you feel it's what I want and you're thinking about yourself in the process. Sit and talk to me and let me look into your soul through your eyes and hear the words that you speak that way I can tell if you're being honest and truthful with me. I don't want to have my judgment of you cloudy by the things that you do for me, let my mind and heart be cloudy by the truth that you speak into my heart and soul. You may can go out and buy me anything I want in the world but none of that will mean a thing to me if you can't speak the truth to me. See at the end of the day when you are getting to know someone or even after you feel you know them all you have is their word and I truly feel your word should be your bond and if you can't take a person at their word then their actions are fruitless. Yes I know people can tell lies but understand that actions lie and speak louder than words when you find out the action was a lie. Having someone go through the motions of "pleasing" you only to get to you or something from you. When all you should have done in the beginning was sit down and have a good face to face talk with them so you could look into their eyes and truly hear their words.

So once again I have to ask that question: Do actions really speak louder than words?



WORDS HAVE POWER

 

 

 

CHELLE B.

Just because you did don't mean they will

We all have heard that you are not suppose to think about or speak about the things you do for others and even though I am a believer in not speaking about or talking about it to others you can’t help but to think about those things especially when you are going through troubles, trials, tribulations and hard times. See I don’t focus on what I did or how much I gave I only wonder why no one seems to remember those things you do for them when you need some type of help. I have been known to allow people to keep my cars while I stay home just so they could get back and forth to work and anywhere else they may need to go. I have been known to get up out my bed all times of the morning and night just to make sure that someone was at work on time at the doctor on time or anything else they had to do. I have been known to give my last or risk having my own utilities shut off just to make sure someone else wouldn’t have theirs shut off. I have been known to take care of kids when others didn’t want to be bothered with their own kid/kids. I have heard many excuses but my favorite one is always you live to far, the funny thing about that is more than likely I was living in the same place or even farther when you asked for my help and I didn’t hesitate one bit. I didn’t make you come to me to get what you needed I brought it to you, I didn’t say you need to find another way I got up and came to you no questions asked, no if’s and’s and but’s either.
You see I have always been known to be the strong one but people fail to understand that there comes a time when even the strong gets weak from being strong. I know the Lord will not put more on me then I can bare but you see people are not like God, they will continue to pile on and not even thinking about you or your needs. You see I was once asked a question during an interview and they asked me to name my biggest strength and weakness and when I informed them that my strength and weakness were the same they asked how. You see my biggest strength is the compassion I have for others, by putting their needs before my own and my biggest weakness is also the compassion I have for others because they see what you do and they tend to take advantage of it and or take you for granted. Once I explained it to them they understood exactly where I was coming from but I’m amazed at how many don’t seem to understand that your biggest strength can also be your biggest weakness. To be honest I can say that these last few months have really showed and taught me a lot, it made me take my blinders off and face reality. I have never had a problem with helping anyone but now I know who I can help that will truly appreciate it and who won’t take my kindness as a weakness or for granted. I have learned that you can’t always be strong and that it is OK to cry sometimes. I have learned that tough times don’t last always and if I can just hold on until the end of the storm I will see brighter days and sunshine. I have learned that a lot of my sorrow and tears were caused by me because I allowed certain people to get over on me. I have learned that no matter how much you may help someone they will still stab you in your back. The saying is you get out what you put in and that is true but the thing about that is don’t expect it to always come back from those that you once helped. There are time when we have to say lesson learned and move on because you can’t make someone help you back just for you helping them, life is funny like that.


CHELLE B.

Mother Yes....Father No....

Now with Father's Day being two days away I decided to tackle this topic.

Now I'm sure this will ruffle some feathers but the only thing I can say right now is "OH WELL",

see I can write about this and say this because this use to be me until a few years ago.

For years single mothers have felt a need to have both Mother's Day and Father's Day, like I said at one point I was in that same boat but really realized a few years ago I needed to get out and get on the sideline so all the "REAL" dads could enjoy their day; I mean once you think about it they have earned it.

You see whether the father is around or not I am still just MOM, I was not born with a penis between my legs nor do I have the desire to be a man so why should I celebrate a mans holiday. Why should I insert myself into a day that was set aside just for them when they didn't insert themselves in a day that was designated just for me. As women we need to understand and realize that we can't be mom and dad, we can be mom and mom only. Yes you may be there twenty four seven with no help from the sperm donor but at the same time you can't be what you are not and that is a man. The only thing you can do is be the best mom you know how to be and not try to be the man. We all have heard the saying a woman can't raise a man, well that may be true to a certain extent, I raised a fine young man but I have to admit he had wonderful male role models in his life along the way and to be truthful I didn't do it by myself.

I understand that some women have been made bitter and angry because they have to do the job by themselves but at the same time it doesn't make you the mother and the father because you didn't make them by yourselves, there was a man involved in the situation at some point in time. Yes some of us have the right to be angry but if most of us sat down and thought about the situation we would realize we put ourselves in the "single" parent realm. We knew if it was just suppose to be a booty call, we knew that the guy wasn't father or mate material and some even knew he had a "main" lady but you figured having a baby would keep him around. Now how wrong was that thought?

 

Also ladies it's like this if you have a man that wants to be a part of their kid/kids life please don't stop them simply because things didn't work out between y'all. You see in the end the only one that is getting hurt and suffering is the child, not the man and I'm sure not you. Stop bashing the man in front of the child and let the child grow up to see things for themselves. You never know what the man might be willing to do if you just put your hurt and anger to the side and let him in the kid/kids life. They may just surprise you!

 

Bottom Line for me is this:

Do you, be the best mom you know how to be and come Sunday, June 16, 2013 salute all the real DADS that you know and give them the praise they deserve because that day is set aside just for them the same way Mother's Day is set aside just for us.

 

LADIES THIS IS WHAT I HAVE TO SAY TO YOU ACCEPT IT OR NOT IT'S TRUE

 

 

CHELLE B.

 

 

 

Their Lost, They Faild

 

 

Often times as we go through life we have more than our fair share of failed relationships and when those relationships end we try to figure out what we did wrong. It has always amazed me at how we tend to place the blame on ourselves at first and never taking the time to really look back into the relationship. I'm sure if most of us did that we would finally realized that it wasn't us all the time, we will realize that at some point the attraction left but that person was not strong enough to tell us. At that point we have to face facts and realize that it's their lost and not ours we have to realized that they failed and not us.

Often times we have to tell ourselves certain things and realize that although we find ourselves still loving and caring for that person, still missing, wanting and longing for that person to be near we have to know they are not deserving of any of those things. They have to know they are no longer deserving of your heart, your love, your time or your thoughts, all because they failed to look on the inside of you to see that you've grown matured and you're becoming a mighty person of God. They failed to appreciate your worth as the person you're becoming, they failed to recognize the greatness inside of you because they chose to look at your situation instead of looking at where you are going. They failed to realize that you could be the very one to help them get to where they need to be, they failed to hear your cries and listen to your heart telling them all the things. They failed to hold tight to the blessings that was put right in front of them, so they let go not knowing or maybe even caring of the hurt you may feel. They may not see or feel it now but trust me eventually they will, they may say oh I'm better off and put up a front for friends and others but when they are by themselves they feel the emptiness of you not being there. They failed to see that all the things they prayed for in a mate were in you but they looked past all that and still focused on your current situation. They failed to understand you would stand by them no matter what problems arose, and they were placed there in your life to help not hinder you. They may think on things that you use to do but they must understand that people grow and mature they move past those things in their past and they should try doing that also. They never notice or see that you had your love on hold for them but they will notice when you press play and say you're through. You're through with waiting, wanting, wishing for them because you know it's a person out there to cherish you just as you are. They failed to see or recognize that no one is perfect not even themselves, even though they may disagree.  

You see they have to understand that not all good things have to come to an end but the situation with them was not for you or too you therefore you did what you had to do. No matter what they may think or try to say all you have to do is just let them know simply:

 

 

"THEIR LOST, THEY FAILED"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHELLE B.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mother's Day Tribute Pt. 14 Finale

 

 

This is the finale to my tributes, understand that if I forgot someone please charge it to my head and not my heart. Even though today has been designated as "Mother' Day" we know that everyday we wake up is Mother's Day.

I pray nothing but the best for all mothers out there doing it solo and those that have help.

We know there is nothing greater than the love of a Mom!

 

 

Whose is the heart that bursts with pride each times she sees your face

Whose are the eyes that dart about, to check and make sure you're world is safe

Whose are the arms that wrap around you and hold you tight and close

Whose is the love that always there whenever you need it most

Whose is the smile that lights the room when you are smiling too

Whose shoulder is the best place to be when only a cuddle will do

Whose chest is warm and comforting when you're a weary soul

Whose motivation only has your happiness as her goal

Whose are the tears that cry for you as you grow old and free

Whose is the heart that aches so much, in the space where you should be

Whose is the head that knows you must find your path alone

Whose is the voice who welcomes you each time you come back home

Who could have so many facets that makes her oh so good

Who has her mind on you each day and today we celebrate

Who hand holds and guides you in a way unlike no other

All these things and more are part and parcels of the joy of being a mother.

 

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL THE MOMS OUT HERE DOING THEIR THING

MANY BLESSINGS TO YOU ALL!!!!

 

 

CHELLE B.

 





Mother's Day Tribute Pt. 13 Keesha Smith

 

 

 



There are so many wonderful things I could say about this person. She has had my back through the good times as well as the bad times. When I needed somewhere to go she didn't hesitate to open her door for me and my kids. We may not talk as often as we use too but we both know we have our own separate busy lives, but we are there for each other when need be, there is nothing in the world I wouldn't do for her. She understand that I'm a little mentally challenged in the head, and even though she has attempted to get me help I have refused them all. LOL... She accept me as I am! No matter how many weddings I may plan or talk to her about she is still right there front and center. If I could go back and change anything I would make her my sister instead of my best friend.

But I know no matter what, no way the wind blows we will forever be here for one another.

So it is only fair that I send this tribute to none other than my very best friend of over 25+ plus years..

 

 

MISS MEKEESHA SMITH

 

 

 

You've seen me laugh

You've seen me cry

and always you were there with me

right by my side.

I may not have always said then

But thanks and I will always love you until the end....

 

God made you a wonderful mother

A mother who never grows old

He made your smile of the sunshine

and He molded your heart of pure gold

In your eyes he placed bright shining stars

In your cheeks fair roses you'll see

God made you a wonderful mother

and I'm so grateful He made you a dear friend to me.

 

 HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY KEESHA

 

 

 

 

Mekeesha, T'Keyah, Tay, Ashley, Asha, Brandon, Angel, Kayla

 

 

CHELLE B.