Your Boaz??

Who Are You Really Waiting On....

I'm sure I'm not the only one who have seen all the post or blogs with women talking about "Waiting on my Boaz". Now of course if you read the story most women who are ready to be married & settled down would love a Boaz but here is my point:

How can you want someone else man? You see Boaz belonged to Ruth & with you saying you're waiting on "your" Boaz it's saying you're waiting on someone else husband, and then you wonder why "Boaz" hasn't came into your life. When praying & believing God for your mate you have to be specific about what you want but you can't ask God for someone else man, it's just not going to work out well for you because remember the same way God hears your prayers so does Satan. He will send you what you think is "Your Boaz" but in truth it will be anything but, instead you will get stuck with some fake imitations like....

1. Po-az

2. Lyin-az

3. Broke-az

4. Cheatin-az

5. Dumb-az

6. Drunk-az 

7. Cheap-az

8. Lockedup-az

9. Lazy-az

and the worst of them all

10. Beatinyo-az

Now being honest how many woman really want that type of man in their life full-time....don't worry I'll tell you NOT ONE!!

See ladies you have to be patient & wait you can't just go to a store & build the perfect man, the man that is perfect for you has to be shaped & molded by God Himself because He knows exactly what you need in a mate & He loves you enough not to just send you any Ole-az. Ladies while you are waiting try praying for your mate & stop praying for someone else mate, Boaz belonged to Ruth so he's not for you. Why don't you instead pray for someone like Boaz, pray for your mate to possess the great qualities that Boaz possessed & not for Boaz. I'm also sure most of you don't even know who Boaz was so I'm going to break it down for you....

Boaz was the type of man who hears about your good works and completely favors you because he sees that you are a woman of virtue & worth. Boaz was not the type of man who was turned on by the physical appearance of Ruth's body or by her calling herself a "bad bitch". You see Ruth represented herself well and her actions were a reflection of her virtuous nature.

A man that truly appreciates your all around worth is a man worthy of your service & submission.

Don't just settle for a imitation Boaz, ask God for your own mate not Ruth's mate.

CHELLE B.

Are You Willing To Speak Up....

Don't Be Silent With Domestic Violence

For the life of me I'll never understand why a man would want to physically harm someone that they claim to love, what gives them the right to feel that they're justified in abusing someone else. To me a man that abuses a woman is coward, a punk & would flee if a man came at them the way they go after the lady....

I'm going to start off with the obvious:

LOVE DOESN'T HURT

I'm pretty sure everyone is tired of hearing this but the sad part of it is no matter how tired you are of hearing it it will always be true.

Love don't hurt, love don't look sad, love is not a destructive force

it's an empowering force. Love smiles, love is happy, love protects, provide, support & uplifts a person; love NEVER knocks you down & make you feel less than what you are. Love is respectful & caring, love is never jealous & controlling. 

Do you know that 1 in every 4 women will experience some type of domestic violence in their lifetime & that every 9 seconds a woman is abused by someone who claims to love them & more than half will never report the abuse for fear of not being believed & retaliation if the courts don't do their part. I've heard many people say "Why won't they just leave, they must like it" well me know that is always easier than done & none of us can actually what we will & won't do until we're in that situation. 

Abusers have to learn & know that NO MATTER WHAT it's never OK to put your hands on your mate & proving you're a man is not putting your hands on a woman, it's being able to walk away from the situation before you do. Walking away doesn't make you weak, walking away makes you a strong grown man. 

How can you claim to love your mate don't but mind seeing them look like this:

We must also remember that domestic violence isn't just physical it's also verbal & most of the time verbal abuse can do more damage than the physical abuse because where as bruises heal those words will stick with you forever. 

Whoever said "Words don't hurt" were sadly mistaken, words have caused people to take their own lives.  

Think about this the next time you raise your hand to hit a woman: Would you tolerate a man putting his hands on your mother or your daughter? Do you know what they do to women abusers in prison, keep up the foolishness & you'll find out. 

CHELLE B.

Biggest Lie Ever Told....Wants vs Needs

 

I sit & just listen to people talk & I have to say that the biggest lie I've ever heard someone say is......

I NEED SEX.

Now forgive me if I'm wrong but the last time I checked no one has ever died from not having sex, but I do know they have died from having sex, STD's are real. I'm sure some people are reading this with their mouth wide open & saying I've lost my mind but I can assure you that I haven't. I just hate to hear someone actually say they NEED sex. I guess to begin with they need to learn the difference between a want & a need.

See a need is something that you can't live without & must have  in order to live or succeed in life, where as a want is just simply something you desire to possess or do, but won't perish from if you don't get it.

 In life I'm come to realize that we need air, food & water to survive, we don't need sex. So I guess I will never understand people when they get upset because their boyfriend or girlfriend won't have sex with them all because they feel they NEED it. I think at some point or another they NEED to sit down & really take a look into their "needs" vs their "wants" & really learn the difference between the two.

 

 

 

CHELLE B.

Work Too Much?????

I have been hearing this a lot therefore I decided to tackle this topic because to be honest it really makes no sense to me at all….
I don’t seem to understand it when women say “I cheated because he’s always at work, he works to much.”
Now don’t get me wrong I know there should be a balance between work and family but at the same time with the rising cost of everything, is there really a such thing as “working to much”? How can you say they don’t have time to take care of home when if they weren’t working then there couldn’t be a home to take care of. How can you say they work too much and that’s why you cheated when we know if they didn’t work at all or have anything to bring in you would use that as an excuse for cheating also. We know if he couldn’t help at home he would be all types of no good, good for nothing so & so and any other derogatory names you and your “friends” can come up with, you would start playing No Scrubs by TLC while you and your “friends” danced around the living room or the home his hard earned money is paying for. You would dance around playing music on a computer or radio that is using electricity that he is working hard to pay for. You would tell him once again “If you were taking care of home I wouldn’t of cheated”, which takes us right back to where we started how can he take care of home when there is no home to take care of.

Bottom Line: You can’t have it both ways either you want a man that will be a man and do what real men, which is work and take care of their families the best they can, or you want a boy to play house with because your son is not old enough to play and do the things you need or want done. Now that only leaves you with two choices, let the man work & you be faithful & stop complaining or you get your butt out there, get a job, let him sit home and you pay all the bills then tell me how tired you are at the end of the day and you get home and he wants this and that and everything else he feels he deserves by being your mate.
You don’t have to go out and cheat and use the excuse “He works to much” if you really feel that way then sit down talk to him about how you’re feeling and if you can’t come to a happy medium then maybe you need to find a man, my bad a boy that don’t want to work!

 

 

 

CHELLE B.

Titles & Relationships

I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW IMPORTANT IS A TITLE TO YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP. Do you feel the need to identify your mate as your girlfriend and or boyfriend?

 
 
 

 I have encountered the problem myself a time or two but it seems as though I was on the other end, I didn't and still don't see a reason for having to let everyone know your relationships status. At one point I can say I wanted to put it out there but he was against for whatever reason so I agreed to it, even though I changed my status on FB for a long time it didn't say with who it just said I was in a relationship. Then when he felt he was comfortable with everything or better yet when he saw guys popping up on my page left and right he wanted to change it so it said we were in a relationship with each other. To be honest I didn't have a problem with it and it only bothered me because he was doing it for all the wrong reasons. He was doing it because he felt it would keep guys from commenting on my pictures and or in-boxing me in Facebook, needless to say he was very wrong and after the change I got more messages in my message box and like more than ever.
See to me having a "title" in a relationship is all about status and claiming, but not just any status it makes you feel as though you have an "official" status one that is meant to bring equalization to your relationship that maybe you feel the last one didn't have. As if you're trying to surpass the previous status of you all's last relationship who you feel may have held a bigger and more prominent title than you are currently holding. You feel it's a status that needs to be acknowledge by your mate, friends and or outsiders to make your relationship look official. 
See often times I tend to ask "Why Do People Need Titles" and I have came up with many reasons. Some people need validation, some people are insecure and feel better if others know their mate is with them. Some people think it tells them where they fit it and or stand with the other person, as if it may tell others what to think or expect from their relationship. They feel it will give the a sense of ownership and that in obtaining that title they have the right to have certain expectations and will know what their responsibilities in the relationship are.
People need to understand that if you're in a good and healthy relationships that you both understand then you all don't need to be fussing over spoken or unspoken status. I feel that you shouldn't need to validate your relationship just for others to feel good or know your business. Now I'm going to be honest I feel the only relationship that should hold a title and be acknowledge is "MARRIAGE". I mean if you're "boyfriend" "girlfriend" then fine no problems with that just know that putting your status out there and it not saying "married" then people still see the others are fair game, but it's up to your mate to check that person and tell you about it.
Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong if you want to put out there that you're in a relationship, just know when doing so it attracts more people to you then not saying you're in a relationship. See you need to understand that "NO BODY WANTS SOMEBODY THAT NO ONE ELSE WANTS", and with making your relationship public it will draw more people to you and or your mate. Trust me I've seen it happen to many times. People want what they think others have, plain and simple.

I can honestly say that I believe this!!

SO I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU ALL: DO YOU FEEL THAT TITLES HELP OR HURT RELATIONSHIPS?



                                 




CHELLE B.

How Much Can You Endure....

 

 

As we all know there is no such thing as a perfect relationship and if anyone say there is they are lying. A relationship can be all that you make it out to be but the main question is "How Much Can You Endure" meaning how much are you willing to take and how long are you willing to stand by your mate through adversities. The same way relationships are different so are the people that are in them. You see one person may can handle way more than the other but at the same time hold it in better than the other person. Regardless of what is going on everyone has their breaking point at some point or another and they just feel like throwing in the towel, giving up and just walking away from it all. Some people tend to stay because they feel the time they have put it is far more important than walking away and actually being happy, where as others stay because they simple don't want to have to start over so comfort is far better than reality. Then you have those who stay out of guilt because they don't want to hurt the other person with fear of the backlash that it may cause.

Either way it all boils down to "how much can you endure"? One thing I do know is that you should never stay with someone out of guilt because in the end it will do more harm than good, see if the other person found out they may hurt you or themselves and or you could end up living a very lonely and unfulfilled life. Staying with someone out of guilt or pity is never the route to take no matter what the situation is or was. Now if you truly love and you're truly in love with someone then you can and will endure all just to be with that person because only you know if the sacrifices are worth it. But if you truly know in your heart of hearts that you're no longer happy and you can no longer hold on and your ready to let go, and move on then you should really share that with the other person, no need in letting them think other wise and no need in keeping them tied to you when you are no longer tied to them.

Just like anything in life if you can endure the bad and rocky times in your relationship then you will surely enjoy the gain at the end, if you can just hold out. But once again if you truly know in your heart of hearts you're no longer happy and you don't want to be there anymore then getting out will only be the fair thing to do.

Endure the pain, Enjoy the gain.

Yes I know it sounds easy to some and hard to others but if everything worth having came to us so easily then they really wouldn't be worth having now would they..

So no matter what the situation may be just ask yourself "How Much Can I Endure?"

They say LOVE endures all, how true is that?

 

 

CHELLE B.

Do Actions Speak Louder Than Words....

We all have heard the saying "Actions speak louder than words" well after careful consideration and after dealing with certain things and being put in certain situations I have come to challenge this age old saying, because if a person is listening to you their actions will mimic exactly what you want at that time, so does that really mean their heart is in it.

I feel that words have more power than you care to believe they have, see to me someone can do whatever it is they have heard you say you want or need done and it not really mean much for the simple fact that they are just going through the motions of what they know you expect and therefore they are going to do what you want or need them to do in order to get what they want and or need from you. To me if I sit and talk to a person I can gauge their feelings and true intentions through their words and words have a better chance at piercing my heart than their actions. Don't get me wrong I like to receive certain tokens of love and affection, things like "just because" flowers and cards. But to me most of the time actions are just a person going through the motions to fulfill the desire, want or need you have at the present moment or near future for their benefit of getting or obtaining something from you in the process. Understand this I can go out and buy whatever it is I think will make you happy, simply because I have sat and listened to the "words" you have spoken and since I now know that will please you I feel that if I go purchase that item I stand a better chance of getting whatever it is I want from you. See I don't just want a person doing this and doing that because you feel it's what I want and you're thinking about yourself in the process. Sit and talk to me and let me look into your soul through your eyes and hear the words that you speak that way I can tell if you're being honest and truthful with me. I don't want to have my judgment of you cloudy by the things that you do for me, let my mind and heart be cloudy by the truth that you speak into my heart and soul. You may can go out and buy me anything I want in the world but none of that will mean a thing to me if you can't speak the truth to me. See at the end of the day when you are getting to know someone or even after you feel you know them all you have is their word and I truly feel your word should be your bond and if you can't take a person at their word then their actions are fruitless. Yes I know people can tell lies but understand that actions lie and speak louder than words when you find out the action was a lie. Having someone go through the motions of "pleasing" you only to get to you or something from you. When all you should have done in the beginning was sit down and have a good face to face talk with them so you could look into their eyes and truly hear their words.

So once again I have to ask that question: Do actions really speak louder than words?



WORDS HAVE POWER

 

 

 

CHELLE B.