Are You Willing To Speak Up....

Don't Be Silent With Domestic Violence

For the life of me I'll never understand why a man would want to physically harm someone that they claim to love, what gives them the right to feel that they're justified in abusing someone else. To me a man that abuses a woman is coward, a punk & would flee if a man came at them the way they go after the lady....

I'm going to start off with the obvious:

LOVE DOESN'T HURT

I'm pretty sure everyone is tired of hearing this but the sad part of it is no matter how tired you are of hearing it it will always be true.

Love don't hurt, love don't look sad, love is not a destructive force

it's an empowering force. Love smiles, love is happy, love protects, provide, support & uplifts a person; love NEVER knocks you down & make you feel less than what you are. Love is respectful & caring, love is never jealous & controlling. 

Do you know that 1 in every 4 women will experience some type of domestic violence in their lifetime & that every 9 seconds a woman is abused by someone who claims to love them & more than half will never report the abuse for fear of not being believed & retaliation if the courts don't do their part. I've heard many people say "Why won't they just leave, they must like it" well me know that is always easier than done & none of us can actually what we will & won't do until we're in that situation. 

Abusers have to learn & know that NO MATTER WHAT it's never OK to put your hands on your mate & proving you're a man is not putting your hands on a woman, it's being able to walk away from the situation before you do. Walking away doesn't make you weak, walking away makes you a strong grown man. 

How can you claim to love your mate don't but mind seeing them look like this:

We must also remember that domestic violence isn't just physical it's also verbal & most of the time verbal abuse can do more damage than the physical abuse because where as bruises heal those words will stick with you forever. 

Whoever said "Words don't hurt" were sadly mistaken, words have caused people to take their own lives.  

Think about this the next time you raise your hand to hit a woman: Would you tolerate a man putting his hands on your mother or your daughter? Do you know what they do to women abusers in prison, keep up the foolishness & you'll find out. 

CHELLE B.

Biggest Lie Ever Told....Wants vs Needs

 

I sit & just listen to people talk & I have to say that the biggest lie I've ever heard someone say is......

I NEED SEX.

Now forgive me if I'm wrong but the last time I checked no one has ever died from not having sex, but I do know they have died from having sex, STD's are real. I'm sure some people are reading this with their mouth wide open & saying I've lost my mind but I can assure you that I haven't. I just hate to hear someone actually say they NEED sex. I guess to begin with they need to learn the difference between a want & a need.

See a need is something that you can't live without & must have  in order to live or succeed in life, where as a want is just simply something you desire to possess or do, but won't perish from if you don't get it.

 In life I'm come to realize that we need air, food & water to survive, we don't need sex. So I guess I will never understand people when they get upset because their boyfriend or girlfriend won't have sex with them all because they feel they NEED it. I think at some point or another they NEED to sit down & really take a look into their "needs" vs their "wants" & really learn the difference between the two.

 

 

 

CHELLE B.

Titles & Relationships

I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW IMPORTANT IS A TITLE TO YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP. Do you feel the need to identify your mate as your girlfriend and or boyfriend?

 
 
 

 I have encountered the problem myself a time or two but it seems as though I was on the other end, I didn't and still don't see a reason for having to let everyone know your relationships status. At one point I can say I wanted to put it out there but he was against for whatever reason so I agreed to it, even though I changed my status on FB for a long time it didn't say with who it just said I was in a relationship. Then when he felt he was comfortable with everything or better yet when he saw guys popping up on my page left and right he wanted to change it so it said we were in a relationship with each other. To be honest I didn't have a problem with it and it only bothered me because he was doing it for all the wrong reasons. He was doing it because he felt it would keep guys from commenting on my pictures and or in-boxing me in Facebook, needless to say he was very wrong and after the change I got more messages in my message box and like more than ever.
See to me having a "title" in a relationship is all about status and claiming, but not just any status it makes you feel as though you have an "official" status one that is meant to bring equalization to your relationship that maybe you feel the last one didn't have. As if you're trying to surpass the previous status of you all's last relationship who you feel may have held a bigger and more prominent title than you are currently holding. You feel it's a status that needs to be acknowledge by your mate, friends and or outsiders to make your relationship look official. 
See often times I tend to ask "Why Do People Need Titles" and I have came up with many reasons. Some people need validation, some people are insecure and feel better if others know their mate is with them. Some people think it tells them where they fit it and or stand with the other person, as if it may tell others what to think or expect from their relationship. They feel it will give the a sense of ownership and that in obtaining that title they have the right to have certain expectations and will know what their responsibilities in the relationship are.
People need to understand that if you're in a good and healthy relationships that you both understand then you all don't need to be fussing over spoken or unspoken status. I feel that you shouldn't need to validate your relationship just for others to feel good or know your business. Now I'm going to be honest I feel the only relationship that should hold a title and be acknowledge is "MARRIAGE". I mean if you're "boyfriend" "girlfriend" then fine no problems with that just know that putting your status out there and it not saying "married" then people still see the others are fair game, but it's up to your mate to check that person and tell you about it.
Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong if you want to put out there that you're in a relationship, just know when doing so it attracts more people to you then not saying you're in a relationship. See you need to understand that "NO BODY WANTS SOMEBODY THAT NO ONE ELSE WANTS", and with making your relationship public it will draw more people to you and or your mate. Trust me I've seen it happen to many times. People want what they think others have, plain and simple.

I can honestly say that I believe this!!

SO I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU ALL: DO YOU FEEL THAT TITLES HELP OR HURT RELATIONSHIPS?



                                 




CHELLE B.