Freedom....Freedom....Freedom....Freedom

How Do You Define Freedom??

 

 

It's amazing how one word can have a different meaning to many people. To some the word Freedom means "Being you without anyone's permission".

But to me Freedom isn't doing what we want to do, it's doing things that keeps us out of bondage, because no one can ever be truly free if they're living in bondage.

Can you truly say you have "FREEDOM" or is there something or someone that has you bound?

Your freedom lies within your hands & no one else!!

 

‪#‎AreYouFree‬ ‪#‎OrAreYouBound‬ ‪#‎Freedom‬ ‪#‎NoBondage‬

 

 

CHELLE B. 



Biggest Lie Ever Told....Wants vs Needs

 

I sit & just listen to people talk & I have to say that the biggest lie I've ever heard someone say is......

I NEED SEX.

Now forgive me if I'm wrong but the last time I checked no one has ever died from not having sex, but I do know they have died from having sex, STD's are real. I'm sure some people are reading this with their mouth wide open & saying I've lost my mind but I can assure you that I haven't. I just hate to hear someone actually say they NEED sex. I guess to begin with they need to learn the difference between a want & a need.

See a need is something that you can't live without & must have  in order to live or succeed in life, where as a want is just simply something you desire to possess or do, but won't perish from if you don't get it.

 In life I'm come to realize that we need air, food & water to survive, we don't need sex. So I guess I will never understand people when they get upset because their boyfriend or girlfriend won't have sex with them all because they feel they NEED it. I think at some point or another they NEED to sit down & really take a look into their "needs" vs their "wants" & really learn the difference between the two.

 

 

 

CHELLE B.

Work Too Much?????

I have been hearing this a lot therefore I decided to tackle this topic because to be honest it really makes no sense to me at all….
I don’t seem to understand it when women say “I cheated because he’s always at work, he works to much.”
Now don’t get me wrong I know there should be a balance between work and family but at the same time with the rising cost of everything, is there really a such thing as “working to much”? How can you say they don’t have time to take care of home when if they weren’t working then there couldn’t be a home to take care of. How can you say they work too much and that’s why you cheated when we know if they didn’t work at all or have anything to bring in you would use that as an excuse for cheating also. We know if he couldn’t help at home he would be all types of no good, good for nothing so & so and any other derogatory names you and your “friends” can come up with, you would start playing No Scrubs by TLC while you and your “friends” danced around the living room or the home his hard earned money is paying for. You would dance around playing music on a computer or radio that is using electricity that he is working hard to pay for. You would tell him once again “If you were taking care of home I wouldn’t of cheated”, which takes us right back to where we started how can he take care of home when there is no home to take care of.

Bottom Line: You can’t have it both ways either you want a man that will be a man and do what real men, which is work and take care of their families the best they can, or you want a boy to play house with because your son is not old enough to play and do the things you need or want done. Now that only leaves you with two choices, let the man work & you be faithful & stop complaining or you get your butt out there, get a job, let him sit home and you pay all the bills then tell me how tired you are at the end of the day and you get home and he wants this and that and everything else he feels he deserves by being your mate.
You don’t have to go out and cheat and use the excuse “He works to much” if you really feel that way then sit down talk to him about how you’re feeling and if you can’t come to a happy medium then maybe you need to find a man, my bad a boy that don’t want to work!

 

 

 

CHELLE B.

Titles & Relationships

I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW IMPORTANT IS A TITLE TO YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP. Do you feel the need to identify your mate as your girlfriend and or boyfriend?

 
 
 

 I have encountered the problem myself a time or two but it seems as though I was on the other end, I didn't and still don't see a reason for having to let everyone know your relationships status. At one point I can say I wanted to put it out there but he was against for whatever reason so I agreed to it, even though I changed my status on FB for a long time it didn't say with who it just said I was in a relationship. Then when he felt he was comfortable with everything or better yet when he saw guys popping up on my page left and right he wanted to change it so it said we were in a relationship with each other. To be honest I didn't have a problem with it and it only bothered me because he was doing it for all the wrong reasons. He was doing it because he felt it would keep guys from commenting on my pictures and or in-boxing me in Facebook, needless to say he was very wrong and after the change I got more messages in my message box and like more than ever.
See to me having a "title" in a relationship is all about status and claiming, but not just any status it makes you feel as though you have an "official" status one that is meant to bring equalization to your relationship that maybe you feel the last one didn't have. As if you're trying to surpass the previous status of you all's last relationship who you feel may have held a bigger and more prominent title than you are currently holding. You feel it's a status that needs to be acknowledge by your mate, friends and or outsiders to make your relationship look official. 
See often times I tend to ask "Why Do People Need Titles" and I have came up with many reasons. Some people need validation, some people are insecure and feel better if others know their mate is with them. Some people think it tells them where they fit it and or stand with the other person, as if it may tell others what to think or expect from their relationship. They feel it will give the a sense of ownership and that in obtaining that title they have the right to have certain expectations and will know what their responsibilities in the relationship are.
People need to understand that if you're in a good and healthy relationships that you both understand then you all don't need to be fussing over spoken or unspoken status. I feel that you shouldn't need to validate your relationship just for others to feel good or know your business. Now I'm going to be honest I feel the only relationship that should hold a title and be acknowledge is "MARRIAGE". I mean if you're "boyfriend" "girlfriend" then fine no problems with that just know that putting your status out there and it not saying "married" then people still see the others are fair game, but it's up to your mate to check that person and tell you about it.
Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong if you want to put out there that you're in a relationship, just know when doing so it attracts more people to you then not saying you're in a relationship. See you need to understand that "NO BODY WANTS SOMEBODY THAT NO ONE ELSE WANTS", and with making your relationship public it will draw more people to you and or your mate. Trust me I've seen it happen to many times. People want what they think others have, plain and simple.

I can honestly say that I believe this!!

SO I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU ALL: DO YOU FEEL THAT TITLES HELP OR HURT RELATIONSHIPS?



                                 




CHELLE B.

Do Actions Speak Louder Than Words....

We all have heard the saying "Actions speak louder than words" well after careful consideration and after dealing with certain things and being put in certain situations I have come to challenge this age old saying, because if a person is listening to you their actions will mimic exactly what you want at that time, so does that really mean their heart is in it.

I feel that words have more power than you care to believe they have, see to me someone can do whatever it is they have heard you say you want or need done and it not really mean much for the simple fact that they are just going through the motions of what they know you expect and therefore they are going to do what you want or need them to do in order to get what they want and or need from you. To me if I sit and talk to a person I can gauge their feelings and true intentions through their words and words have a better chance at piercing my heart than their actions. Don't get me wrong I like to receive certain tokens of love and affection, things like "just because" flowers and cards. But to me most of the time actions are just a person going through the motions to fulfill the desire, want or need you have at the present moment or near future for their benefit of getting or obtaining something from you in the process. Understand this I can go out and buy whatever it is I think will make you happy, simply because I have sat and listened to the "words" you have spoken and since I now know that will please you I feel that if I go purchase that item I stand a better chance of getting whatever it is I want from you. See I don't just want a person doing this and doing that because you feel it's what I want and you're thinking about yourself in the process. Sit and talk to me and let me look into your soul through your eyes and hear the words that you speak that way I can tell if you're being honest and truthful with me. I don't want to have my judgment of you cloudy by the things that you do for me, let my mind and heart be cloudy by the truth that you speak into my heart and soul. You may can go out and buy me anything I want in the world but none of that will mean a thing to me if you can't speak the truth to me. See at the end of the day when you are getting to know someone or even after you feel you know them all you have is their word and I truly feel your word should be your bond and if you can't take a person at their word then their actions are fruitless. Yes I know people can tell lies but understand that actions lie and speak louder than words when you find out the action was a lie. Having someone go through the motions of "pleasing" you only to get to you or something from you. When all you should have done in the beginning was sit down and have a good face to face talk with them so you could look into their eyes and truly hear their words.

So once again I have to ask that question: Do actions really speak louder than words?



WORDS HAVE POWER

 

 

 

CHELLE B.

Mother Yes....Father No....

Now with Father's Day being two days away I decided to tackle this topic.

Now I'm sure this will ruffle some feathers but the only thing I can say right now is "OH WELL",

see I can write about this and say this because this use to be me until a few years ago.

For years single mothers have felt a need to have both Mother's Day and Father's Day, like I said at one point I was in that same boat but really realized a few years ago I needed to get out and get on the sideline so all the "REAL" dads could enjoy their day; I mean once you think about it they have earned it.

You see whether the father is around or not I am still just MOM, I was not born with a penis between my legs nor do I have the desire to be a man so why should I celebrate a mans holiday. Why should I insert myself into a day that was set aside just for them when they didn't insert themselves in a day that was designated just for me. As women we need to understand and realize that we can't be mom and dad, we can be mom and mom only. Yes you may be there twenty four seven with no help from the sperm donor but at the same time you can't be what you are not and that is a man. The only thing you can do is be the best mom you know how to be and not try to be the man. We all have heard the saying a woman can't raise a man, well that may be true to a certain extent, I raised a fine young man but I have to admit he had wonderful male role models in his life along the way and to be truthful I didn't do it by myself.

I understand that some women have been made bitter and angry because they have to do the job by themselves but at the same time it doesn't make you the mother and the father because you didn't make them by yourselves, there was a man involved in the situation at some point in time. Yes some of us have the right to be angry but if most of us sat down and thought about the situation we would realize we put ourselves in the "single" parent realm. We knew if it was just suppose to be a booty call, we knew that the guy wasn't father or mate material and some even knew he had a "main" lady but you figured having a baby would keep him around. Now how wrong was that thought?

 

Also ladies it's like this if you have a man that wants to be a part of their kid/kids life please don't stop them simply because things didn't work out between y'all. You see in the end the only one that is getting hurt and suffering is the child, not the man and I'm sure not you. Stop bashing the man in front of the child and let the child grow up to see things for themselves. You never know what the man might be willing to do if you just put your hurt and anger to the side and let him in the kid/kids life. They may just surprise you!

 

Bottom Line for me is this:

Do you, be the best mom you know how to be and come Sunday, June 16, 2013 salute all the real DADS that you know and give them the praise they deserve because that day is set aside just for them the same way Mother's Day is set aside just for us.

 

LADIES THIS IS WHAT I HAVE TO SAY TO YOU ACCEPT IT OR NOT IT'S TRUE

 

 

CHELLE B.