Now with Father's Day being two days away I decided to tackle this topic.
Now I'm sure this will ruffle some feathers but the only thing I can say right now is "OH WELL",
see I can write about this and say this because this use to be me until a few years ago.
For years single mothers have felt a need to have both Mother's Day and Father's Day, like I said at one point I was in that same boat but really realized a few years ago I needed to get out and get on the sideline so all the "REAL" dads could enjoy their day; I mean once you think about it they have earned it.
You see whether the father is around or not I am still just MOM, I was not born with a penis between my legs nor do I have the desire to be a man so why should I celebrate a mans holiday. Why should I insert myself into a day that was set aside just for them when they didn't insert themselves in a day that was designated just for me. As women we need to understand and realize that we can't be mom and dad, we can be mom and mom only. Yes you may be there twenty four seven with no help from the sperm donor but at the same time you can't be what you are not and that is a man. The only thing you can do is be the best mom you know how to be and not try to be the man. We all have heard the saying a woman can't raise a man, well that may be true to a certain extent, I raised a fine young man but I have to admit he had wonderful male role models in his life along the way and to be truthful I didn't do it by myself.
I understand that some women have been made bitter and angry because they have to do the job by themselves but at the same time it doesn't make you the mother and the father because you didn't make them by yourselves, there was a man involved in the situation at some point in time. Yes some of us have the right to be angry but if most of us sat down and thought about the situation we would realize we put ourselves in the "single" parent realm. We knew if it was just suppose to be a booty call, we knew that the guy wasn't father or mate material and some even knew he had a "main" lady but you figured having a baby would keep him around. Now how wrong was that thought?
Also ladies it's like this if you have a man that wants to be a part of their kid/kids life please don't stop them simply because things didn't work out between y'all. You see in the end the only one that is getting hurt and suffering is the child, not the man and I'm sure not you. Stop bashing the man in front of the child and let the child grow up to see things for themselves. You never know what the man might be willing to do if you just put your hurt and anger to the side and let him in the kid/kids life. They may just surprise you!
Bottom Line for me is this:
Do you, be the best mom you know how to be and come Sunday, June 16, 2013 salute all the real DADS that you know and give them the praise they deserve because that day is set aside just for them the same way Mother's Day is set aside just for us.
LADIES THIS IS WHAT I HAVE TO SAY TO YOU ACCEPT IT OR NOT IT'S TRUE
CHELLE B.
